Thick Skin

Words can hurt, they can pierce your heart and bring tears to your eyes. Once they are said, they can never be undone, they travel into space having passed over the one they were to leave behind, broken.

I sometimes wish this blog were anonymous. I could post all my true feelings and no one would ever be the wiser to my true identity. Someone has hurt me deeply with their words. A phrase said in passing, not a second thought given to anyone but me, but I was left there stunned. The meanness of these words, the utter disregard for all people who were born different, intellectually challenged, special needs, whatever phrase you may choose, but oh, not that one. Not that one.

It was not said by a mean person. It was not meant in regards to my son. But they are there, those words, spit out into the world and I don't believe I can ever see this person the same.

How did I get here? How did I become the champion of all people like my son, those who society has cast aside and willingly disparages with its words? How far will it go? Will I lose people I hold close in this world over these words?

Will I ever be able to cast off these words and toss them aside? Do I want to? I don't know right now. I can never go back to the world I used to know.

Calling All You Armchair Acitivists

I'm not exactly what you would call an activist when it comes to the cause of DS. I'm not particularly involved in any of the national groups that advocate for our kids. This little blog is the primary way I like to get the word out on how much my son is loved and adored, and how "normal" our lives are...full of joy and worry and beauty and tears. A Beautiful Life, hence the name I gave to this blog.

However, sometimes one has to step up and do what's right.

The NDSC recently had a photo contest in which many parents posted their sweet child's pictures in an attempt to show how similar individuals with DS are to their typical peers.

Well some sick fuck decided it would be funny to post these images on a forum and use them in demeaning and sometimes pornographic ways. I've rarely seen such cruelty and utter disregard for humanity in action.

Earlier today when it was realized that these photos were being used in an inappropriate manner the content was taken down when the online DS community became abuzz with what was going on and legal avenues were being explored.

Here is Christie's post on the subject. Her sweet boy was one of those posted on this twisted site. She has some links to the mods of this forum. Kindly visit her blog and take a minute to send out some emails and support her as she seeks legal counsel for misappropriation.

The original posters on the NSDC site have also been taken down. I'm not sure how I feel about this. Any images we post on the internet can be used for unsavory and just plain sick purposes. I'm a Muslim woman in a headscarf--a figure that has often been abused by hate sites and pornographic sites alike. I have a child with DS, which apparently makes him a target for cruelty and hate as well. However, that doesn't mean I will back down and hide. EVER. We shouldn't have to hide out of fear.

We're here and we deserve and demand respect. We won't hide. And we're not going to let you bully us into submission.

My Thoughts About Today

This morning I made a post on my other blog about the "R" word. As I'm sure most of the bloggers within the Down syndrome community know today is the day the Special Olympics have set aside to raise awareness about that word.

To me the use of the word is more than just semantics or popular culture. It's an attitude our society has about people with cognitive and other disabilities. It's a reality that parents and individuals effected by a loved on with special needs have to face on a daily basis: Our children and loved one's are marginalized and laughed at by the society we live in.

This fact hurts me beyond all else when I look at my son. When I think of his extra chromosome, the one that resides in every cell in his body, the one that gives him his almond shaped wide set eyes and his short little legs propped up with the cutest little feet, society is what hurts me. Not that chromosome. It's the judgement and exclusion from this society that my child was born into.

Frankly, I don't know if we'll ever see attitudes change, at least in my or my son's lifetime. I guess all I can do is strive to change the attitudes of the people around me, the few souls that I collide with in my own little microcosm. I can only strive to give my child the best, expect great things from him, demand respect and inclusion from the people around him, try to change hearts one at a time.

That's the least I can do for you Yusef. I know you will do the same.